The Story of a Jonin
by heroine921
Summary: Nara Shikamaru is now 22. Many years have passed and much has changed in the village of Konoha.  **First FanFic, please review! Constructive criticism is welcomed, just dont be too mean ...Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Shikamaru lit a cigarette and let it dangle carelessly from his lips. Once a year, he visited Asuma's grave and shared a smoke with him. Although it had been 6 years, Shikamaru still missed his former sensei.

"See you soon, Asuma-Sensei." Shikamaru whispered before he left the grave. A slight smile formed on his lips and he looked into the clouds. Shikamaru knew Asuma was looking down on him from the sky.

* * *

><p>"Shikamaru!"<p>

"Kaijin, hey," Shikamaru replied to the young boy. Sarutobi Kaijin was Shikamaru's godson. Asuma's last request was for Shikamaru to watch over Kurenai and his unborn son. Shikamaru remembered that day like it was yesterday. "How are you today?"

"I'm good, Uncle. Are you going to teach me some ninjutsu today?"

"Eh, maybe not today. I have to leave on a mission tomorrow morning. I need to get my rest."

"Aww man, but you promised!" Kaijin whined. Shikamaru held back a chuckle.

"I know. When I return, we will train together and I will treat you to ice cream after. Is that a good deal?"

"Hmm, can we train with Naruto-Sama?" Kaijin asked.

"Now, now," Shikamaru kneeled so he was eye-level with Kaijin. "You know the Hokage is very busy. He cannot just train with us whenever he wants to. But I will ask him." Shikamaru added. This answer seemed to satisfy Kaijin who ran off to tell Kurenai he would be training with the Hokage one day.

Shikamaru laughed. Kaijin was very much like Asuma. He was lively and eager to get better every day, even at his young age of six.

* * *

><p>"This shouldn't be a difficult mission, Shikamaru. But it will be a long one. Just remember not to get complacent. Although it is simply an escort, it may get complicated." Naruto said.<p>

"Heh," Shikamaru laughed. "Look how the tables have turned. A few years ago I would have been the one saying that to you." He said.

"You're right." Naruto laughed as well. "Time has certainly changed the village hasn't it?" Shikamaru nodded and remembered how Naruto used to act. He used to be impatient, immature, and idiotic. Now he was level-headed, smart, and much more responsible and mature.

"Anyway," Naruto continued. He looked out of the glass panel wall over the village. "All the intel you need is in the folder I have given you. You are to leave first thing in the morning. Send me a report each day. I don't expect complications, but follow the procedure anyway."

"Understood." Shikamaru bowed. "Oh, yeah, I promised Kaijin I would ask you to train with us when I return. You can say no, but I had to ask."

"I'll make some time for it. I owe you one anyway. I'll just have Kakashi take over for me. He really should be the Hokage instead of me…" Naruto said.

"Don't say that. You worked hard to." Shikamaru consoled. The truth was, Kakashi probably should have been the Hokage. In a way, he was though. He was more of a co-Hokage than a "Senior Advisor to the Hokage" anyway. The village elders and Feudal Lord appointed Naruto party to be able to control him more directly. Having been Hokage for 3 years now, Naruto proved his worth. However, at the time Naruto was appointed, Kakashi was the obvious choice for the job.

"I did." Naruto looked off into the sky as he spoke. "You and I both know the actual reason I was appointed Hokage. Kakashi was still stronger than me at the time. I may have passed him in skill since, but he deserved the chance."

"I was never in favor of the limelight, Naruto. You know that." Kakashi said, seemingly from nowhere.

"I didn't hear you enter." Naruto said to him.

"I know." Kakashi replied. He smiled underneath his mask. "You are the strongest ninja in Konoha, and probably the world. You are the true Hokage. There is no doubt about it." Naruto smiled. "You are very much like your father. He would be proud."

Naruto just remembered that Minato, his father, had once been Kakashi's sensei. Naruto nodded to Kakashi and dismissed Shikamaru. He looked over the village one more time before returning to his paperwork.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After his a 12-day escort mission, Shikamaru stopped in the Hidden Sand to rest before his three day journey back to Konoha.

"Thank you for the food. It was delicious." Shikamaru said to the chef. He paid his bill and headed to the inn.

On the way there, he decided to take a walk. Unfortunately, the Sand was not like the Leaf. The scenery wasn't really scenery. It was all hardened sand and clay. No trees, rivers, mountains, or any type of nature for that matter. _How do people stand it? They have almost no connection to nature at all. If there was no sky…_ Shikamaru looked up and wondered if Asuma could really see him. He lit a cigarette and leaned carelessly against a wall. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched as people passed by. A few children were running with a ball, trying to peg one another with it. Shikamaru laughed. It reminded him of his Academy days.

"You know smoking is no good for a ninja." A voice said from the shadows. Shikamaru knew the voice, but he couldn't put a name or face to it.

"It's a bad habit I picked up from a friend." He said cautiously. He looked around for the source of the voice.

"Don't be alarmed." The voice said as the speaker emerged from around a corner.

"T-Temari? Geez, I haven't seen you in…I don't even know." Shikamaru said. He was somewhat lost for words. Temari often visited Konoha as a liaison between the Hokage and Kazekage, but Shikamaru was always out on missions.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Temari smiled.

"Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm good. I hear you are now one of the Chief Jonin of Konoha."

"Ah, well, I guess." Shikamaru shrugged. He never really liked recognition for his accomplishments. Although he was far from the days when he tried his hardest to get away from responsibility, Shikamaru didn't really want a high title. "How's your career going? You have to be the head of something by now."

"I was the Chief Jonin since before the war even started." Temari smirked. _Still the same I see. _Shikamaru thought with a laugh.

"I should have figured. I bet you always get your way, huh? Not only are you a dominant woman, but the Kazekage is your little brother." He joked.

"Funny. Maybe so, but I could still pulverize you."

"If I recall correctly, I was the winner the last time we fought."

"That was 10 years ago." Temari said. "Goodness, where has the time gone…" Temari said more to herself than to Shikamaru. He nodded and thought about how long ago that really was. So much had happened since Shikamaru had become a ninja. First it was the Chuunin exams followed by the partial destruction of Konoha. Then there was the failed Sasuke chase and recovery. Then there was the whole Akatsuki ordeal along with the complete destruction of Konoha. Shortly after that were the revelation of Uchiha Madara and the start of the Fourth Great War. And that still wasn't the end of the craziness. After the war was won, Konoha was momentarily split. There was no Hokage and the people wanted Kakashi to be appointed. When Naruto was appointed, everyone was in uproar. Although he had saved Konoha many times, many people blamed Naruto for Sasuke's betrayal. Naruto was the one who convinced the village to accept Sasuke again after he was declared a Rogue Ninja. As a result of this, Sasuke and Madara successfully tore the village apart, AGAIN. If Naruto had killed Sasuke like he was ordered to, it would never have happened. That's what the villagers thought initially, anyway. But over time, Naruto had proved himself as Hokage, with Kakashi's guidance to aid him.

"A lot has definitely happened in 10 short years." Shikamaru said. Temari nodded. Shikamaru looked into her green eyes. The years had certainly been kind to her looks. He never noticed how beautiful she really was. Shikamaru barely noticed he was staring at her. His jaw dropped slightly. The cigarette dropped from his mouth without Shikamaru noticing it.

"Are you ok? You looked spaced out all of a sudden." Temari said with a concerned look on her face.

"U-uh, yeah," Shikamaru felt his face flush and tried his best to hide it. "Just thinking…about the past." He said quickly. "Anyway, I'm gonna head in for the night. We should catch up the next time you're in Konoha."

"We should." Temari smiled. _Her smile is….stunning._ Shikamaru admitted to himself. He returned the smile and headed to the inn.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru made it back to Konoha safely. After he kept his promise to Kaijin, he finally headed home to get some rest. He laid in bed and looked up at the ceiling while letting out a sigh. <em>Is this how the world is supposed to be? I'm only 22 and I've seen fighting more years than I've seen peace. Will it ever end? <em>He thought to himself.

"Being a ninja is about protecting those who you care for." Asuma had once told Shikamaru. It was shortly after he graduated from the Academy. _But is the fighting supposed to be constant?_ Shikamaru questioned.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. It was Ino.

"Hey. Come in." Shikamaru said.

"How was your journey?" Ino asked. Her bright blue eyes were seemed to sparkle when she looked Shikamaru.

"Very long, but not too bad. Has anything new happened in the village since I've been away?"

"Thankfully, no," She replied. Shikamaru kicked his feet up on the couch and laid back. "You must be tired." Ino added as she kneeled next to his face. She stroked his face. Shikamaru closed his eyes. H and Ino had always had an odd relationship. They were great friends, no doubt. But there were shades of grey when it came to what kind of friends they actually were. They never fooled around or did anything sexual, but they did have some tension between them. There had been more and more intimate moments like this one as the years continued on.

"I'm glad you made it back safely…Sometimes I worry when you are gone so long…"Ino said after a few minutes. Shikamaru opened his eyes.

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. I can't help it I guess." She looked away as she spoke.

"You know I can handle myself, Ino. You shouldn't worry. Stress doesn't suit you well."

"I know." She sighed. Suddenly she perked up. "Neji and Tenten got engaged while you were away."

"Well it is about time. It's only been coming for about 8 years." Shikamaru laughed as he sat up and stretched. Ino stood up. Her bleach blonde hair fell well past her shoulders.

"Are you hungry? I'll make a Yamanaka specialty dish." She headed into the kitchen to begin preparations. _I'm glad her looks aren't the only thing that improved over the years._ Shikamaru laughed to himself and drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Shikamaru woke the next morning with Ino in his arms. He didn't even remember falling asleep with her. They were laughing and talking and the next thing he knew, here he was. He smiled to himself. Ino looked so innocent and peaceful as she slept.

By the time he had showered and dressed, Ino was awake. "Are you busy today?" She asked him.

"I don't plan to be. Why? Did you want to do something together?" Shikamaru replied suspiciously. He hated surprises.

"My father wants to see you."

"Inoichi? Why?" Shikamaru questioned. The only times Inoichi had ever summoned Shikamaru was when there were big problems heading for Konoha. Shikamaru was automatically on edge.

"Don't worry," Ino said. Shikamaru's concern must have showed on his face. "Nothing bad has happened."

"Good." Shikamaru let out a sigh. "What does he want then?"

"I'm not sure. He just told me to tell you."

"How did he know you would see me?"

"Do you know who my father is?" Ino laughed. "He probably knows what 99% of the villagers are doing at this very second. He's not head of the Intel Division for nothing."

"Oh. True." Shikamaru said. Still, something didn't feel right about being summoned by Yamanaka Inoichi without any advance notice. "I'll get going then."

"Ok."

"Um, will you still be here when I return?"

"Do you want me to be here?" She asked.

"Uhh…yeah, I guess. It would be nice." Shikamaru blushed and stuffed his hands in his pocket.

"I'll be here then." She smiled. _Since when did Ino become so submissive?_ Shikamaru thought.

* * *

><p>"Come in." Inoichi said. Shikamaru was nervous for some reason. He had never been to Ino's home before.<p>

He bowed. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes." Inoichi answered. "Would you like some tea?"

"Thank you."

"So, I wanted to speak with you about something, Shikamaru." Inoichi bean as Shikamaru sipped on his tea. "You and my daughter have certainly seemed to grow close."

"Oh, um, yes… I suppose." Shikamaru almost choked on his tea. This was definitely not what he expected to hear from Inoichi.

"What are your intentions with my daughter?" Inoichi had a fierce look in his eyes. His strong features still intimidated Shikamaru.

"I-I'm not sure what you mean by that, sir."

"Do you intend to marry Ino?" Inoichi asked bluntly. This time Shikamaru really did choke on his tea. It burned his throat as he tried to stop coughing.

"I'm - s-sorry. M-marry - Ino?" Shikamaru managed between coughs.

"Yes." Inoichi didn't bother to help Shikamaru. "She spends almost all of her free time with you. She seems to care deeply for you. She has for a while. I don't want you to be leading her on just to break her heart in the end. Shikaku and Yoshino agree."

"You spoke to my parents?"

"Of course. You are in your twenties now. Don't you think it is almost time to settle down and begin a family?"

_No._ Shikamaru thought. "What about my duties as a ninja? I travel far too much to maintain a family."

"It is manageable. Your father is also a retired Chief Jonin. Shikaku and Yoshino are happy together. And they raised you at the same time. Why couldn't you do it as well?"

"I-I don't know, sir. I would have to think about it, sir." Shikamaru answered.

"Naturally. I have faith that you will do the right thing." Inoichi said. He finally smiled. "Thank you for stopping by."

"Anytime." Shikamaru replied with a bow. He was happy to leave the Yamanaka house. He lit a cigarette and walked slowly back to his own home.

* * *

><p><em>I'm expected to MARRY Ino…<em> Shikamaru thought as he walked. There was always a connection between him and Ino, but he never thought about _marriage_. It was a farfetched concept to Shikamaru, at least for now. _I guess I do like her. I enjoy spending time with her. She certainly enjoys spending time with me. And she isn't as tough with me as she is to everyone else. She's less headstrong with me for some reason…where is this even coming from?_ Shikamaru was almost screaming to himself. He didn't know what to do.

Shikamaru sat in a tree, watching the waterfall. The sound of flowing water always seemed to clear his mind. He was able to momentarily forget the conversation he had with Inoichi. He suddenly realized that he never returned home. Ino was still there waiting for him. He immediately jumped from the tree and ran back in full speed.

"Hey! Watch it!" Someone shouted. Shikamaru bumped into someone, hard.

"Sorry. In a rush – won't happen – Temari? I'm sorry about that." Shikamaru said.

"Oh, it's you. If you were anyone else I would have ripped you to pieces by now." Temari replied as she put away her giant fan. Shikamaru didn't doubt what she said for a second. She looked ready to kill. After a few seconds she softened up. "I was just headed to your place."

"M-my place? Why?" Shikamaru stalled. _I could just imagine what would happen if Ino opened my front door and Temari stood there instead of me._

"You told me to come find you the next time I was in Konoha. Well, I'm here." She said plainly.

"Oh, yeah... Are you here on business again?"

"No, actually. I'm here on vacation. There is much better scenery here in the Leaf than in the Sand."

"I've been saying that for years." Shikamaru joked. Temari laughed.

"You can have your jokes. But we all know Sand ninja are elite and Leaf ninja…well…maybe not." She laughed as she looked Shikamaru up and down.

"Ha ha," Shikamaru mocked her.

"Why are you in such a rush anyway?"

"Oh, I was just headed home. I have to, uh, run some errands today. Shouldn't be too long, but I wanted to get started right away." He lied. By to look on Temari's face, she knew he was lying too.

"Right… Well I'm headed to the inn." Temari replied.

"Ok. Well, I need to get going. See you around, I guess."

"You will." Temari smirked. Shikamaru had the feeling Temari had a plan up her sleeve. He was sure if it was a good or bad thing either.

* * *

><p>When Shikamaru returned home, Ino was gone. <em>Guess I took too long.<em> A note was left on his pillow.

_Come to the waterfalls tonight at 9._

That was it. Shikamaru was curious what Ino had planned for him. He didn't want to wait until nine o'clock to figure out. In the meantime, Shikamaru meet Choji and Kiba for some barbeque.

"Slow down, Choji, the food isn't going anywhere." Kiba laughed. Choji paid Shikamaru no mind and continued to eat.

"Kiba, what do you think of Ino?" Shikamaru asked.

"Huh? She's ok, I guess. She's real pretty. Why? Are you finally going to make a move?" Kiba said with a smirk.

"What? No…I don't know. I spoke to her father today." Shikamaru began to lower his voice so he was sure only Choji and Kiba would hear. "He asked if I intented to marry Ino." He almost whispered. Kiba sneezed and Choji dropped his barbeque back onto the grill.

"What?" They both replied loudly.

"Keep it down, guys! Geez…" Shikamaru said, embarrassed.

"Are you serious?" Kiba asked.

"No, Kiba, I'm lying." Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him I had to think about it."

"You're already trapped. If you said no outright you could decide to change your mind at any time. Since you said 'think about it' you know he will want you to think 'yes'." Kiba told him.

"Kiba is right." Choji added.

"Shut up, Choji. What experience do you have with women?" Kiba laughed.

"Inoichi asked my parents as well. They all expect me to marry Ino now."

"Well, you did kinda set yourself up for it." Kiba replied.

"How?"

"Have you ever taken a second to think about you and Ino? The way you two get along is definitely closer than friends. The two of you do everything together now. And whenever you leave the village she is constantly asking us if we heard from you. Since Neji finally got the courage to ask Tenten to marry him, I guess it has the old heads thinking we should all start settling down. My mother asked me if I was seeing anybody a couple of days ago too. Too bad for Choji, he'll be alone forever." Kiba teased. Choji went on to rant about how "big strong manly-men" were more popular with women than "wild and scrawny brats" like Kiba. Shikamaru regretted asking for their advice. Now he was just more confused than ever. _Sigh. Women. They will never cease to be troublesome._ He thought.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru lit a cigarette as he headed for the waterfall to wait for Ino. Shikamaru tried to block out the thoughts of marriage. There was nothing wrong with it, but he just wasn't sure about it. He had never thought about it before.<p>

"How many times do I have to tell you that smoking is no good for a ninja?" A voice interrupted Shikamaru's thoughts.

"Temari?" Shikamaru said. "You left the note? How did you get into my house?"

"Are you really asking me that question? Do you not realize I am a kunoichi?"

"Never mind that," Shikamaru said. _What in the world is Temari planning? _"Why did you tell me to meet you out here?"

"Honestly, I wanted to see if you would come." Temari answered. "Why did you come?"

"I-I don't know. I thought…I thought Ino left the note." Shikamaru said truthfully. He didn't know why, but he felt like he shouldn't lie to Temari. She looked surprised for a split second, but Shikamaru still caught it. "But I came. And I don't plan to leave just because it is you."

"So what are you and Ino exactly? She asked.

"Um…I'm not really sure." Shikamaru answered. He had a distant look on his face. He laid down in the grass and looked up at the stars. Temari sat next to him and looked up as well. "I never really thought about it." Shikamaru felt more comfortable talking about the situation with Temari than he did with anyone else.

"How do you feel about her?" Temari asked. She genuinely looked like she wanted to help him out.

"I like having her around. And she is definitely my best friend. I'm closer to her than I am to anyone else right now, even Choji."

"So she is someone you want to keep in your life right?"

"You could say that. It would be kinda…empty if Ino wasn't there. Our friendship has gotten…odd though. There are times when it feels like more than friends, and we both realize that and quickly get away from it. I don't really know how to explain it. I guess we both don't want it get awkward…" He explained.

"By the way you speak of her I can tell you care for her. Probably even more deeply than you realize yourself." Temari replied. Somehow Shikamaru knew she was right too.

"How…" Shikamaru began.

"It's not my first time around, Shikamaru. I've had my own share of relationship problems." She said. Shikamaru laughed gently.

"Who would ever be interested in you? You're too mean and demanding." He teased.

"You might be surprised." She looked off as she spoke. Suddenly she smiled her evil smirk that was somehow very alluring to Shikamaru. "You're here aren't you?"

"Well played." Shikamaru said. They let the sound of night and the waterfalls wash over them. Shikamaru watch as Temari looked absently into the sky. The stars seemed to dance on her emerald eyes.

"The stars don't seem to shine so brightly in the Sand. I always wished my village was more like yours."

"How so?"

"Well, it's much more peaceful here. Everyone in the village seems to treat one another as family. And the pride you all have for your village is unmatched. In the Sand, individuals are individuals. Family bonds go only so far. And clans hardly care about other clans or even other people in the clan. Everyone is out for their own name."

Shikamaru sat up. "Are you ready to head back?" He asked.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to walk me home. You keep seeming to forget that I am a kunoichi." Temari said when they reached the inn.<p>

"I haven't forgotten." Shikamaru replied. There was an awkward silence. Temari, who was usually confident and in control of every situation she was in, seemed nervous. "Have a good night, Temari." Shikamaru said finally.

"Thanks. See you around." Temari replied with a slight smile. Shikamaru returned the smile. _What is it about her…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Chapter 4 is finally here! I'm soooooo sorry for the long delay. It has been quite busy in my world recently. Anyway, thank you to all my faithful readers who waited patiently for my updates! I am back in a good zone for writing so hopefully I will update more often from now on. Thanks for reading guys! Review PLEASEEEE! Let me know if the pace of the story is too fast (I'm a little worried about that). Anyway, ENJOY & REVIEW PLEASE :)**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

Ino returned to Shikamaru's house the next morning.

"You weren't here when I got back yesterday." Shikamaru said.

"I'm sorry. Sakura needed my help at the hospital." Ino replied. "My father told me what he spoke to you about yesterday. I would have warned you if I knew."

"It's not a big deal."

"Don't let what my father said to you change what you do or how you act. Don't worry about pleasing him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Ino's voice grew quieter with each sentence. Shikamaru didn't know what to say to console her.

"Ino," Shikamaru began. She turned away from him. "Ino," he started again. He took her hand and turned her back to face him. He saw a single tear roll down her cheek and his heart immediately dropped to his stomach. "Why are you crying?" Shikamaru pulled her into his chest and rested his chin on her head.

"I-I don't know. You're my b-best friend. I j-just don't w-want anything to c-change." Ino stuttered.

"Why would anything change? You're still the same Ino. I'm still the same Shikamaru." Shikamaru smiled and lifted Ino's face. "We're always gonna be best friends, no matter what. Right?"

"Right," Ino said finally with a smile.

"So what do _you_ think about the conversation Inoichi had with me?"

"I don't know. I think it was too sudden and it's not really his business…but he is my father. I guess he is just trying to look out for me." She replied. Shikamaru chuckled. _Women._

It took a few seconds for them to realize that they were in a close embrace. Neither of them backed away quickly. Shikamaru looked into Ino's blue eyes. He smiled. Ino hugged him tightly. _Ino…_

* * *

><p>Shikamaru went to visit Kaijin and Kurenai later that day.<p>

"You're really good with children. Have you ever thought about becoming a team leader for the academy?" Kurenai asked.

"Huh? No. I'm way too busy to watch over kids all the time." Shikamaru replied.

"How do you think Asuma felt?" Kurenai laughed. Shikamaru smiled. "When are you going to settle down, Shikamaru?" Kurenai said in a serious tone.

"I, uh, I don't know. I don't really think it is the right time for me just yet."

"You can maintain your career and start a family at the same time. You father did it successfully."

"I know," Shikamaru began. "I just want things to stay how they are for now. I'm not really serious with anyone right now…" It wasn't fully a lie, but Shikamaru wasn't sure what to call his relationship with Ino. It wasn't _really_ serious, was it? Kurenai watched as he thought about it.

"What about …Ino? You two seem close." Kurenai asked carefully. Shikamaru showed no signs of surprise. He knew it was coming.

"We're good friends. I've known her since I was 5." _Geez, I didn't realize it had been that long. 17 years…_

"Asuma and I were good friends for a long time before we started dating. You might be surprised if you just give it a little try."

"I don't know." Shikamaru said. He watched Kaijin practice with ninja tools. "Inoichi asked me if I intended to marry Ino." He added quietly. Kurenai's eyebrows furrowed.

"I see. You don't want to become serious with Ino, and then realize that you only did it because her father asked you to."

"Right." Shikamaru nodded. "I need to figure out everything on my own. If I do end up dating Ino, I want it to be sincere. I don't want it to be because of someone else." He explained. Believe it or not, Inoichi was pushing Shikamaru from Ino rather than pushing him closer to her. _It would hurt Ino so bad if I pretended to love her because that's what her father wants. But what do I want?_ Shikamaru thought to himself. Temari's face popped up into his mind suddenly. He shook it off and joined Kaijin.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru avoided Ino over the next few days. Each time she stopped by his house he left via the back room window. He didn't know what to say to her and he knew it would be awkward to be around her. Shikamaru found himself avoiding more than just Ino as well. He had gotten so used to staying hidden that nobody besides Naruto or Neji could ever catch him.<p>

"On the run? You've been in the shadows for a while."

Shikamaru didn't notice Temari behind him. "Back in Konoha already? You really must love it here."

"I'm actually here on business. I've noticed you creeping around all day. What are you up to?"

"Nothing." Shikamaru said quickly. "I don't know. Just trying to be in my own space for a while, I guess." He corrected himself. They began to walk to the Hokage Headquarters. "So what news do you have for Naruto?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. This is just a routine visit. Unfortunately most of my job requires me to travel all the time. I'm never in one place too long. But that is probably for the best for ninja." Temari replied. She looked tired, with slight bags forming under her eyes.

"Long days and short nights, huh?" Shikamaru asked. She nodded. Even deep green eyes seemed to have less color in them today.

"If the ambassadors of the Leaf actually did anything it would be quite helpful." She said with a hint. Shikamaru had never thought about it, but it seemed that Konoha was the only ninja village who never sent their ambassadors out to other villages. The ambassadors always came to Konoha in person or mailed letters. Come to think of it, there were no designated ambassadors at all.

"If we had ambassadors, I'm sure they would do their job. All of the village's affairs are dealt with directly by me and Neji or the Hokage and his advisor."

"I'm not even going to ask how the government works here." Temari said. Shikamaru laughed. Temari cracked a smile too. "Meet me here in 3 hours. We'll have dinner together."

"Are you asking me or telling me." Shikamaru laughed again. Temari gave her evil smirk.

"What does it sound like?" She said. She headed into Naruto's office before Shikamaru could respond. He laughed and shook his head. _Only Temari…_

* * *

><p>"You must really be intent on hiding from people." Temari commented. Shikamaru took her to a restaurant on the outskirts of the village and picked a table all the way in the rear, where their faces were partly covered in shadows.<p>

"I told you. I just need my own space for a while."

"Have you made a decision about the Ino situation?" Temari asked quietly. She picked at her food but didn't eat much. She wouldn't look up into Shikamaru's eyes either.

"No. I don't know what to do. There is nothing wrong with her, but I don't know about marriage. That's not something you just jump into. We never even tried dating before this whole mess sprang up on us."

"Is it her who you are avoiding?"

"I guess. I just don't want to make any decisions because I want to keep someone else happy. I have to figure it out on my own, you know?"

"Yeah." Temari replied distantly.

"What about you. What's going on in your life that you haven't told me?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari sighed before answering. "Nothing, really. I haven't been in a relationship in two years. But…" She trailed off. Shikamaru waited patiently for her to continue. "Well, I was involved with this guy. He was from the Hidden Cloud. We met after during the war. After the war ended we dated on and off for about two years. I thought I knew who he was. But it turned out that he had a completely different life. Two young children….a wife…and two other mistresses; I was just another play toy. When I look back on it, it makes sense that he never let me visit his home or village. He always came to me. I don't know how he kept up with four women and two kids." She finished finally.

"What?" Shikamaru was disgusted. _How could a man betray a woman's trust like that? Why would he? And to a woman like Temari…It's not easy to gain the trust of a strong woman like her…_ Shikamaru continued to watch her. She still hadn't looked up from her plate. "That's horrible. What did you do when you found out?"

"Kicked his ass." She said, apparently proud of herself. Shikamaru laughed.

"I should have known." He replied. Temari finally looked up and smiled at Shikamaru.

They finished the rest of their meals in silence.

"I should get going. I want to set out to return home early in the morning. I have tons of work waiting for me when I get back.

"Already? You just got to Konoha this afternoon. Shouldn't you rest a day before heading back out?" Shikamaru suggested.

"Hate to see me leave, Shikamaru?" Temari teased. _Yes. _

"Yeah, right, Temari. You must have had too much sake with your rice." He laughed. Temari chuckled but Shikamaru could see something else in her eyes. She wanted him to want her to stay.

"I have no further business here. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can rest at home."

"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right." Shikamaru replied.

As they left the restaurant, Shikamaru lit a cigarette as usual. He took one puff before Temari snatched it out of his mouth. She took a puff herself before tossing it as far as she could. "I will never understand what is so satisfying about cigarettes." She commented. Shikamaru laughed. Temari was so dominant and demanding, but somehow in a good way.

"I don't know why I like it. I just do" Shikamaru replied. He looked up into the stars. _Asuma_…

"I'll see you around, ok?" Temari said. Shikamaru nodded.

"Goodnight, Temari." He said. Temari smiled.

"Goodnight."

* * *

><p>Shikamaru stopped at the waterfalls before heading home. When he finally got there, a surprise was waiting for him.<p>

He didn't even know what to say when he saw Ino lying on his living room couch with nothing but a silk, mostly see-through, robe on.

"I-Ino…what are you doing?" Shikamaru choked out. He couldn't stop blinking. He almost didn't want to believe what he saw. He felt wrong looking at her but he couldn't take his eyes away. He couldn't even put her beauty into words. Shikamaru's face turned red.

Without saying anything, Ino walked over to him and pushed her body against his. Shikamaru swallowed, not knowing what to do. He couldn't deny that he wanted to indulge in Ino's temptations, but he couldn't decide whether it was the right thing to do.

"I don't know about this, Ino. Won't things get weird if we do this?" He said as Ino took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

"Only if we think about it too much." She said with a smirk. She had the most determined Shikamaru had ever seen on her face.

"Are you really sure about this?"

Ino nodded. She smiled and bit her lip in a way that did not help Shikamaru at all. It also didn't help that he had shared a few glasses of sake with Temari. _Temari! Why am I thinking of her right now? With Ino in front of me like this…_

Just as Shikamaru was about to put some space between them, Ino kissed him. He could taste alcohol on her tongue. He had almost lost all self-control. It took all the strength he had to separate his lips from Ino's.

"We shouldn't do this. Not right now." He told her.

"I just want to see what we really are, Shikamaru. I know you've purposely avoided me the past few days. I've been trying to give you the space you need to think, but I can't. It just made me want to be near you even more." Ino looked away for a few seconds. "I love you." She said quietly. Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. Ino looked into his eyes. The look on his face must have confirmed what Ino was afraid of, because she blushed and turned away.

"I'm sorry. I probably should go. This was stupid of me." She began saying. She started grabbing her things.

"Ino, wait…it was just so unexpected. I don't know what to think right now." Shikamaru held her hand. "But you are still my best friend. I don't know where this will go if we become more than friends. We could end up fighting and never speak again. I don't want that to happen to us." He finished. Ino nodded.

"You're right. But, you never know until you try." She added quietly. "Do you mind if I stay here tonight? I'd rather not be questioned by my father right now."

"Yeah, sure. You can stay in here. I'll sleep on the couch." Shikamaru said. Ino nodded. Shikamaru left Ino alone in his bedroom. _What am I doing? _He let out a sigh and stretched out on the couch.

* * *

><p>Ino was still sleeping when Shikamaru woke up in the morning. He shook his head at his own frustration and slipped into the covers next to her. He kissed her forehead and held her hand as he looked up at the ceiling.<p>

Ino woke up looking somewhat confused. "What happened last night?" She asked. She noticed that she was almost naked and pulled the covers up to her neck.

"We almost…well…you know." Shikamaru said, giving her a look that finished his words.

"Oh... Almost?" She asked after a while.

"Um, yeah… You kissed me and then… You don't remember anything?"

"No." Ino looked embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. I don't even drink often."

"It's fine. I was…shocked." Shikamaru laughed lightly. "Don't worry about it." He added. Ino smiled.

"I'm going to shower. I feel horrible." She replied. Ino threw up twice on the way to the bathroom. Shikamaru sighed, knowing that he would have to take care of her all day. Every time Ino had a hangover she somehow ended up in Shikamaru's care.

* * *

><p>"Feeling any better?" Shikamaru asked after Ino got out of the shower.<p>

"A lot." Ino sat next to Shikamaru on the couch.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No. I'm fine." Ino looked absently at the news on the television. Ino started to apologize again but Shikamaru interrupted her.

"Don't apologize. It's fine." Shikamaru wasn't bothered by Ino's drunken actions. One thing was still on his mind, however. "I've been thinking about something you said last night… Did you mean it when you said you love me?"

"…My father always said... 'A drunken mind will always betray the secrets of the heart'… Yes. I meant what I said. I'm sorry it came out that way. But, at least you know now." Ino replied.

"I think I already knew it." Shikamaru almost whispered. "Ino, I'm not sure about marriage or anything else…but I know I like having you around. You've been my closest friend for a while. I really like…being close to you." Shikamaru said. Both he and Ino blushed slightly but neither turned away. "I don't want to lose you for any reason. But when you kissed me yesterday…it was hard to resist you. Very hard…I'm not really sure what we are right now."

Ino thought for a second before answering. "We're whatever you want us to be. We can just be friends. If that's what you want, I'll accept that." She said. Shikamaru looked into her face. Ino looked older than he had ever seen her look. She looked tired and stressed. _Maybe she has it worse than I do. Everyone expects me to marry her, but I'm sure they don't expect Ino to just wait around either. Her father must really be pushing it. I want Ino to be happy…I want to be the one to make her happy again._

"What if that isn't what I want?" Shikamaru asked her. Ino's eyes lit up for a second. After, her expression worsened. _She thinks I'm rejecting her totally. _"Stress really _really_ doesn't suit you." He held her face. She closed her eyes and smiled gently.

"You're far too beautiful." Shikamaru added as he brought Ino's face to his. The kiss they shared was more meaningful and passionate than the night before. At the end, Ino bit her lip and looked into Shikamaru's eyes. He already knew what that meant...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Temari was exhausted by the time she got back to the Sand. She didn't stop to rest at all after she left Konoha.

"How was the trip?" Kankuro asked as Temari walked into the house.

"Fine. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"You've been making quite a few stops in the Leaf recently. Is everything ok with the relations there?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." Temari avoided Kankuro's face. He could always tell when she was hiding something. Kankuro looked suspicious.

"So what aren't you telling me?" He asked finally.

"What do you mean?"

"What is the real reason you have been going to Konoha so much? I heard you telling Gaara that you plan to go back next week as well. That will be the third time you have been there this month." Kankuro's face turned to anger. "You're not planning on leaving the Sand for good are you?"

"What? Are you really asking me that question, Kankuro? Do you think my loyalty to this village, to Gaara, isn't true?" Temari shouted back.

"I don't know, Temari! You haven't been here much at all lately."

"You know my work keeps me away from the village. If I didn't do my job right, we would not be at peace with any other ninja villages. Don't you understand that?"

"I know, Temari! But do you really have to be gone all the time? We are not in conflict with any village right now, so keeping relations should be fairly simple. All you have to do is write letters and refresh the treaties every now and then."

"It's really not that easy, Kankuro. Having a treaty with a village means routine updates about the happenings of the villages. Each Kage must know what is going on with any Kage they have a peace contract with. That's how it works. I'm Gaara's ambassador. It's what I do."

"You're also part of the royal guard too. Don't forget that." Kankuro replied in a smart tone.

"Do you really think I have forgotten? Or do you believe that you are not competent enough to protect Gaara while I'm away? Gaara is the Kazekage. He is the strongest ninja in this entire village. He honestly doesn't need our protection." Temari said.

"That's not the point, Temari." Kankuro said angrily. He knew he lost the argument.

"You don't even have a point." Temari's eyes were steely.

"Who is it?" He asked, softening up.

"What are you talking about?" Temari tried to play dumb but she knew Kankuro trumped her.

"I'm not stupid, Temari. You've been seeing someone. I can always tell. You get really distant. You start sneaking around, not wanting to be seen by anyone. You don't tell anyone where you're going half of the time… So who is it?"

Temari turned away and didn't respond. "I'm not seeing anyone." She finally answered quietly. Kankuro watched her. "Not officially, anyway." She added in a whisper. Kankuro looked surprised.

"A Leaf ninja?" He asked in disbelief.

"That's not your business."

"Would you leave your home for this guy?" Kankuro questioned.

"Enough with the questions. I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning." Temari said as she left the room. Kankuro watched her head into her room. He sighed at the thought of someone taking her away from the Hidden Sand.

* * *

><p>"You seem distracted." Gaara told Temari. "We should stop for today." He added. They were doing their daily training workout together.<p>

"No, let's keep going. I'm fine." Temari replied. Gaara didn't listen to her request.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Nothing." She lied.

"Kankuro told me about the argument you two had last night. I do not question your loyalty at all. But, however, if you did decide to leave the village I wouldn't stop you. You are free to make your own choices. You will never be an enemy of the Sand."

"T-thanks." Temari replied. She didn't know how to respond to Gaara. Gaara was always more mature and understanding than Kankuro. "I wouldn't leave you two."

"I know." Gaara nodded. "So what is this story about you dating a ninja from Konoha?"

"I'm not dating anyone." Temari said. Gaara raised his eyebrows. "I'm not! We have been out a few times together. That's all."

"Is that really all?"

"Yes! And he is involved with someone else anyway."

"No one in the Sand is good enough?" Gaara asked.

"Have _you_ found anyone yet?" Temari joked. They both laughed.

"Touché." Gaara smiled, something he didn't do often. "You know me. I'm not made for love and relationships. I'll always be on my own. It just suits me."

"I guess you're right." _Maybe that's true for me as well._ Temari thought to herself.

* * *

><p>Everything with Shikamaru and Ino was going ok. They were still in "limbo" kind of state. Neither seemed to want to mention the incident at Shikamaru's house. Since then, their friendship seemed to be normal again. <em>Sort of…<em>

Shikamaru and Ino still saw each other almost every day. They still did most things together. The only difference between them was that now they seemed to avoid being too close to each other. A part of Shikamaru wanted to just be with Ino. But the other part of him always thought of Temari. Shikamaru was so sure of his feelings until he thought about Temari. Every time he thought of her, he wasn't sure if Ino was who he really wanted.

Inoichi and Shikaku still pushed Shikamaru. They had both given him the ultimatum of either marrying Ino or leaving her alone for good. Shikamaru didn't want to totally lose Ino, but he couldn't see himself married any time soon.

"Tell me exactly how you feel about Ino." Neji told Shikamaru.

"She's my best friend. I like being around her. We get along well."

"Do you like making her happy?"

"Yeah, why not? I've known her for so long, you know. It would be weird if she just wasn't around anymore." Shikamaru explained.

"Then why do you hesitate?" Neji looked serious.

"Uh…I don't know. I can't see myself married. There is nothing wrong with Ino at all. She's just a little too…soft? I don't know the right word."

"I think I know what you mean." Neji replied. He let out a soft laugh. "You know, they say a man will find a mate that can fill the place of his mother. Whether it be a conscious decision or not, you are more attracted to somewhat headstrong women."

"My _mother_?" Shikamaru asked, disgusted. "Well…I don't know. Maybe you're right." He said after a while. Shikamaru thought of Temari. She definitely has a stronger willpower than Ino does.

"It would complement your personality." Neji continued. "Look at your parents. Your father is very laid back most of the time, where your mother always likes to be in control. They are opposites, but they fill each other's gaps." He finished. Shikamaru thought about Neji's words for a while.

"Are you and Tenten like that? Do you '_fill each other's gaps'_?" Shikamaru said with a laugh.

"Shut up." Neji laughed too. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet." Shikamaru sighed. "_Women!_ Why do all of my problems have to include women?"

* * *

><p><em>I'm never drinking again… Well... Maybe….<em> Temari woke up feeling worse than she ever felt in her life. _Getting drunk alone is no fun._ Disregarding the fact that she was already three hours late, Temari laid back on the couch and closed her eyes.

"I know, Kankuro." She said as the door slid open. "I'll get up soon." She turned to look at him when he didn't respond.

Shikamaru stood there, leaning on the wall, his arms crossed.

"Oh." She said and sat up quickly. "What are you doing in my house?"

"Making sure you aren't dead." Shikamaru joked.

"I'm fine. But you won't be if you don't get out of my house." She threatened.

"Ok. I'll go if you want me to." He started to leave but Temari stopped him.

"Stay. I'm sorry. It's been a long week. Wait…what are you doing in the Sand anyway?"

"I guess I'm the new ambassador between the Leaf and the Sand. You weren't at the meeting this morning so I decided to check on you."

"I see. Thanks… I guess. But don't you ever come into my house like that again. I swear I'll kill you next time." Temari said seriously.

"I know you would. Well, at least you would try."

"Any time, any place, genius-boy…"

"You ok? You look sick." Shikamaru commented. Temari's face was had the same pale tone Ino's did whenever she got drunk. "Went too heavy on the sake again?"

"Shut up. Get me a glass of water." She demanded. Shikamaru laughed. _I thought I was the guest._

"_You_ cook?" Shikamaru asked in disbelief. "I think I'll go pick something up to eat. I'd rather not die today."

"Ha. That's really funny. I can't stop laughing." Temari replied with a blank face. "I was being nice by offering to make you something."

"Thanks." He said. There was an awkward silence as Temari began her preparations for the meal. "I thought you lived with your brothers."

"I do. Apparently they aren't here right now." She said smartly. "Kankuro is probably off making puppets somewhere. And Gaara…well you could probably tell he doesn't make it home much. They always seem to return at the most inopportune times though."

"I know what you mean." Shikamaru said, thinking of Ino. "Temari," He began. A part of him urged him not to continue, but Shikamaru knew he should tell Temari what had happened with Ino.

"When was it?" Temari asked after Shikamaru finished the story.

"Two weeks ago." He answered. When Temari didn't respond for a few minutes Shikamaru began to get nervous.

"So have you made a decision about the marriage thing?" She finally asked. She stopped paying attention to cooking the food for a minute to watch Shikamaru.

"Uh…not really…no." He told her. Temari looked at him. Shikamaru could tell she was thinking something, but he didn't know what. She sighed.

"You can't put it off forever, Shikamaru. You have to decide. If she really loves you I'm sure she will wait a while, but not forever. I'm sure she wants to settle down and start a family sooner or later." Temari said. "It's in a woman's nature." She added quietly.

"What about you? Have you ever thought about starting a family?"

"Yes. I've thought about it."

"And is it something you want to do?"

"Of course. But I am a ninja. A kunoichi. It's just not the time to get married or have kids yet. I'm only 26." Temari said. She turned back to the food.

"That's similar to what I thought too." Shikamaru agreed after a few minutes. Temari handed Shikamaru a plate of food. "Thanks."

They ate dinner in silence. The only noise came from the television.

"I was thinking of taking off and traveling around a bit. You know, sightseeing, looking at nature." Shikamaru said.

"That sounds nice." Temari replied.

"I…I want you to come with me." He told her. Temari looked a little surprised.

"You're kidding." She said in disbelief.

"I'm serious. You're the only person I know who would really appreciate it the same way I would."

"When were you planning on doing this?"

"I'm not sure yet. One day I'll just wake up and feel like going. I'll know when the time is right. And I'll just go." Shikamaru finished. Temari thought about it for a minute.

"Ok."

"Ok? You'll go?" He asked. Temari nodded. "That's great." Shikamaru smiled.

Temari smiled. _Her smile is beautiful. The most beautiful I've ever seen._

"I should probably get going soon. I have to head back to Konoha." Shikamaru said after a while.

"Ok. I'm sure Kankuro would love to come home and find you here." Temari replied.

"Yeah, I bet." Shikamaru laughed. "I'll be in touch. Just be ready to pick up and go whenever, ok?"

"Alright. I'll see you around then."

"See you around, Temari." Shikamaru studied Temari's smile for a second. He smile was always bright when he said her name.

In an instant, Shikamaru nodded another farewell, lit a cigarette, and disappeared with the shadows of the blowing wind.

_I'll be waiting._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Shikamaru, can I have a word?"

"Kakashi Sensei? Is everything ok?" Shikamaru asked, slightly worried.

"Don't get worked up. The success of your recent missions has been really impressive. Have you ever considered the Black Ops?"

"No, I haven't."

"Well I personally think you would make a great fit. You're very intelligent, and you analyze and react to situations very quickly and effectively. That is exactly what is needed in ANBU right now."

"I don't know, Kakashi. I've just started some ambassadorial work for the village."

"And you could continue that. The ANBU isn't always mobilized. You would be under my direct command, as well as Naruto's. Not much would change, but you would have to operate under secrecy when on ANBU missions. And you would probably have to give Chief Jonin status over to Neji completely. It might be for you and Neji to remain Co-Chief's." Kakashi explained.

"I have to think about it. I kind of like where I am right now, with my career and all."

"I understand. But think about it. The position will always be open if you want it. You know where to find me." Kakashi disappeared as quickly as he had come.

_ANBU Black Ops…I don't know…_

"I think you should do it. ANBU doesn't invite just anyone into their ranks. And Kakashi himself invited you. He was one of the greatest Black Ops operators ever." Neji told Shikamaru.

"I'm not sure though. It will change the direction of my career. And you'll have more responsibilities if I'm always away."

"Shikamaru, we've been working together for years. I can handle Chief Jonin duties on my own while you're away."

"Doesn't it kind of sound like a demotion to you? I can go from co-Chief Jonin to just an ANBU operator."

"Well, if you think of it that way, yeah. But, there is always the opportunity to advance in the ranks of ANBU. You won't be a scrub for long." Neji laughed.

"Yeah, thanks." Shikamaru walked slowly, thinking. "Neji, have you ever thought of how dangerous our profession is? Ninja die. I never really realized that until Asuma was killed."

"I know it's dangerous. But I'm not afraid to die." Neji said seriously.

"What about your family? Have you ever thought of the pain they would go through if something happened to you? What about Tenten?" Shikamaru asked.

"We are both ninja. Most of my family are ninja as well. We all understand the risks that come with the territory. That's why we train so hard. You have to be better than the enemy to survive."

"Yeah." Shikamaru looked off.

"What's on your mind? Why would you suddenly think about this?"

"I don't know. Would you want your son to be a ninja and die for the village? Why are children being taught to kill?"

"Shikamaru, are you ok? You've never said anything like this before."

"I just…I just thought about it." Shikamaru said. _Who would miss me if I died? I know my parents would. What about my friends? …What about Temari?_

"You're not going to die if you join the Black Ops. You're one of the best ninja in the village. Have some faith in yourself." Neji patted Shikamaru's back. Shikamaru nodded. Neji suddenly laughed. "You are a weird guy, Shikamaru. Where in the world did this even come from?" Shikamaru laughed too. He didn't even know why the subject had suddenly bothered him. It just did.

* * *

><p>The sound of gentle flowing water; the sun setting behind the waterfalls; what a beautiful sight? It was so peaceful and calming. Shikamaru blended in with the shadows cast by the sunset. He started to light a cigarette out of habit but stopped himself when he realized it would give away his presence. He sat back on a branch, high up in a tree. Shikamaru watched as Temari trained alone. She moved swiftly yet gracefully; strong yet silent.<p>

_She probably could beat me with raw power. Strategically, however, I am unmatched._ Shikamaru thought to himself. He continued to observe Temari as the sun continued to set. He had never seen a woman look so fierce and determined. She released her Wind Scythe Jutsu, cutting down at least six trees. She threw her giant fan down and swore. Apparently that wasn't enough. Shikamaru chuckled.

Temari turned her head quickly and looked all around her. There was no on in sight, but she knew she had heard someone. She began packing up to head back into the village. She looked around one last time. _I know I heard something…_ She thought to herself.

Neither Kankuro nor Gaara planned on returning home for the night, which was no surprise. Temari smiled. She hadn't had a peaceful night to herself in a long time. No arguing with Kankuro. No concerned talks with Gaara. No thoughts about work. She took a long bath and laid out on the couch. Just when she got comfortable, there was a knock on the door. _Sigh, great. There goes my night._

"He-hello," Shikamaru stammered. Temari had a silk robe on and her hair was down. Her hair was much longer than it appeared. She looked much less intimidating when she was outside of her ninja gear. Shikamaru couldn't help but let his eyes wander. Temari cleared her throat loudly.

"Oh, um, yeah… Are you busy?" Shikamaru continued.

"Clearly not, Shikamaru. What is it?"

"I'm leaving in the morning."

"And where are you going?" Temari asked.

"Forgotten already?" Shikamaru replied. _No._ Temari thought. _I've been waiting._

"Forgotten what?"

"The trip. I asked you to come on a trip with me a few weeks ago." Shikamaru said, looking frustrated.

"I didn't forget." Temari said. She had a smug smirk on her face. _I just wanted to hear it again._

"Oh. Well, that's good. I'm leaving at dawn."

"Ok. I'll be ready." Temari said. Shikamaru just realized that they were still standing in her doorway.

"Good." He nodded awkwardly. He crossed his arms for something to do.

"If you want to come in, just say so." Temari rolled her eyes and let Shikamaru inside. "There's some rice and steamed vegetables in the kitchen. You can help yourself." She added. Shikamaru nodded and went to gather some food.

When Shikamaru returned, Temari had tied her hair back up and put a t-shirt and sweats on.

"Thanks." Shikamaru said referring to the food.

"So were you the one watching me earlier?" Temari asked.

"Huh?" Shikamaru tried to hold in a laugh.

"Stalking me now? Kind of low, even for you, don't you think?" She said with a triumphant look on her face. Shikamaru laughed.

"If I were truly stalking you, you wouldn't know it." Shikamaru replied. A silence washed over them. "I didn't plan on staying too long. I just wanted to tell you to meet me at the gates tomorrow 15 minutes prior to dawn. We'll do an equipment and supply check and then head out."

"Kankuro and Gaara aren't going to be home tonight. You can stay here if you want. Save a few yen." Temari offered. Shikamaru thought for a second.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." He said. Temari quickly wiped the smile off her face, but Shikamaru caught it just in time.

"There are some blankets in the closet down the hall. Make yourself at home. I'll see you in the morning." Temari said as she headed towards her room. "Oh, the bathroom is right past the closet. Help yourself to the kitchen. Just don't touch the sake. Kankuro will have a fit. Goodnight." She added. Temari looked back at Shikamaru for a few seconds.

"Goodnight, Temari. See you in the morning." Shikamaru said with a smile. There was a hint of a smile on Temari's face before she closed her bedroom door.

Shikamaru let out a sigh and cleaned up his plate. He took a hot shower. _It's going to be a long two weeks. Hope Temari doesn't kill me._ He laughed at the thought.

As Shikamaru was setting up camp on the couch, Temari came back out of her room. "Did you tell anyone that you were leaving?" She asked.

"Only those that needed to know. I didn't say where or how long." He replied.

"And who needed to know?"

"I didn't tell Ino, if that's what you are asking." Shikamaru said. "I only told Naruto and Neji. No one else will know. And they don't know that you're coming with me either."

"Oh, ok. Do you I should tell my brothers?" Temari asked.

"You're asking for my opinion? I didn't know it mattered that much to you."

"It doesn't." She rolled her eyes and retreated back into her bedroom. Shikamaru laughed and laid down to sleep.

* * *

><p>Temari didn't sleep much that night. For some reason she was excited about going on a trip. She was also nervous about the fact that Shikamaru was sleeping in her living room. If Gaara or, heaven forbid, Kankuro decided to come home at some obscene hour, it wouldn't be very good. Temari didn't feel like wondering about what could happen. The Sand and Leaf might have a treaty, but that wouldn't stop and upset Kankuro.<p>

After a couple of hours of staring at the walls, Temari sat on her windowsill and looked into the night sky. The moon and the stars were shining brighter than usual.

"You ok?" Shikamaru asked. He closed the door and leaned against it. Temari didn't notice when he opened the door. She cleared her throat and her thoughts.

"Yeah… I'm fine." She replied, continuing to look out of the window. Shikamaru watched her for a second.

"What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing." She said. Shikamaru walked closer to her and looked out the window as well.

"Nice night." He commented. Temari didn't reply. Shikamaru waited for a minute before speaking again. "You know what…let's go now. Why wait another couple hours?

Temari finally looked at him. "Ok." She got up and packed a bag. Shikamaru watched her.

"No work stuff. No ninja stuff." He said.

"What? I don't go anywhere without my fan." Temari replied as she strapped it onto her back.

"Just leave it. Please. We're going on a vacation. You're not supposed to be a ninja for once."

Temari removed her fan after a few seconds. "Fine. But I'm bringing a summoning scroll. Just in case."

"That's fine. I'll be outside when you are ready." Shikamaru left Temari in her bedroom.

* * *

><p>The night air was cool against Shikamaru's face. He inhaled deeply and sighed. Temari came outside after a few minutes and they set out silently.<p>

They traveled until the sun came back up, running the whole way. "Are you tired?" Shikamaru asked.

"No." Temari replied shortly. _She's sure a tough one._ Shikamaru thought.

"Let's take a break anyway. Our first destination is not far from here. We can have some breakfast."

"Where? There aren't any stores around here."

"We just have to gather some up. There's a stream over the hill. I'll catch some fish. There should be wild berries or something around here." Shikamaru said before departing down the hill. Temari watched him leave.

_What are we even doing running off like this? Where are we going? When are we going back? I didn't even leave Kankuro or Gaara a note. I suppose I should let them know I'm not dead._

Temari wrote a quick note to Gaara and summoned an eagle to send it off. She looked around for a while with no luck finding any kind of edible vegetation. She decided to join Shikamaru down by the stream.

Shikamaru was certainly a sight to behold. He was standing in the middle of the almost knee high water with his pants rolled up and his shirt off. He was muscular and perfectly cut. Temari had never paid attention to Shikamaru's looks before. But now that she was looking, she didn't want to turn away. He certainly wasn't a scrawny little teenage boy anymore.

Temari found herself smiling. _Ugh. Get a grip on yourself._ She thought to herself as she approached Shikamaru.

"Any luck?" He asked.

"No. None of the vegetation here is edible. How's your fishing coming along?"

"I think I have enough to eat." Shikamaru pointed to a pile of fish. Temari nodded and started a fire as Shikamaru cleaned himself up.

"So where exactly are we?" Temari asked him.

"Does it matter?" He answered with a grin. "Look around. Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah." _Sure is._ Temari looked all around her, taking in the splendor of nature. And the splendor of Shikamaru, who was still shirtless. There were trees all along the bank of the stream. The stream led to a hill. It ran down the middle of the hill, almost like miniture rapids. At the bottom of the hill was a circular clearing with a lake.

After eating they moved down into the clearing at the bottom of the hill.

"So, Shikamaru, what is your great plan? What are we going to do out in the wilderness for days?" Temari asked.

"I don't know. Whatever you want to do. I'm going to set up the tents and then go swimming."

Temari looked at Shikamaru with a blank face.

"So I'm supposed to be one with nature?" She laughed. "Do you really expect me to –"

"I didn't force you to come with me, Temari." Shikamaru reminded her. "You can leave whenever you want. We might not have any spectacular plans for today but that doesn't mean the whole trip will be a waste. And plus, you need to learn to _really_ relax. Does everything have to be planned?"

"I guess not." Temari said. Even though she didn't want to admit it, Shikamaru was right. She chose to come with him. _Why? I don't know. Who is he? Why does he intrigue me so much that I want to be around him?_

"What kind of things do you do when you're not working?" Shikamaru asked.

"I don't know. I train."

"All the time?"

"Pretty much." Temari answered.

"Ok. Well…" Shikamaru began. He laughed suddenly. "You have no life. I know we're ninja and everything, but there is more out there."

"What do you do then?" She said loudly, slightly offended by his words.

"Mostly I like to play shogi. Anything that makes me think, really."

"Oh. I've never really had time play childish games."

"Ha, you say it's childish but I guarantee you could not match me. Anyway, here. Try this." Shikamaru tossed Temari his backpack. He smiled and ran to the lake to swim.

Inside the bag was an artbook. There were a few sketches that Shikamaru had drawn. He wasn't gifted, but his art wasn't bad. Temari sat down and wondered what to do with the book. _Stupid Shikamaru. I don't draw._ She threw his backpack to release her frustration. Some paint brushes and paint jars rolled out. _Hmm…_

Temari didn't realize how much time had passed until the sun set. Shikamaru was off somewhere doing something. Temari hadn't seen him since he gave her the backpack.

"Having fun yet?" Shikamaru said out of nowhere, causing Temari to jump up, dropping the painting she just finished into the grass.

"Don't you ever startle me like that again, Nara!" She shouted. She reached for her fan instinctively but realized that it wasn't on her back.

"Calm down, geez." Shikamaru said with his hands up. "Sorry." He added. Temari shook off her shock.

"It's fine. I don't like being surprised."

"I thought you noticed me hours ago. You must have really been focused on that painting. Can I –"

"No! I mean, no, it's not done." Temari snatched up the painting quickly as Shikamaru tried to reach for it. Temari turned red. Shikamaru watched her for a second and couldn't help but smile a little.

"Ok. Can I see it when you finish?" he asked.

"Maybe. I don't know. I've never painted before. It isn't that good at all." She said. Shikamaru nodded.

"Ok. You want to look at the stars with me?" Shikamaru laid down in the grass with his hands behind his head. Temari laid next to him after a few seconds. They didn't really speak while they looked into the night sky. They drifted off to sleep under the stars together.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Sorry this chapter is like all over the place, haha. I dont know, my thoughts were just unorganized. Took a month for this one =/ and I'n not even very happy with it. Anyway, things will get better, I promise! It's coming, readers! It's coming! ...And thanks for reading! Thanks to the faithful readuer who have subscribed and/or favorited my story! I had no idea my first fic would get such positive feedback. Thanks a bunch guys!_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: So this chapter is a little shorter than I expected, and a little shorter than other chapters. But I still hope you enjoy! I'm looking to update again pretty soon so stay tuned! Thanks for reading everyone, and thanks for the awesome reviews! You guys keep me going when I'm stuck!**_

Chapter 7

When Shikamaru woke, Temari wasn't next to him anymore. He looked around but didn't see her anywhere. Both tents were still up. The only thing missing was Shikamaru's backpack.

Temari painted the day away. Shikamaru watched her from a tree just as he had the day before. Painting seemed to instantly capture all of her attention. She looked even more focused than she did when she was training. Shikamaru intentionally crept up right behind her and she still didn't notice. He crossed his arms and waited for a little bit before clearing his voice.

"What. Did. I. Say." She began. Shikamaru smirked.

"So you like painting, huh?" He asked, ignoring her anger. She rolled her eyes.

"I guess so." Temari turned to face him. "It just clears my mind, I guess."

"Do you mind?" Shikamaru started to peek around her to look at her painting. She didn't stop him this time.

It was a painting of the area they were in. It was just as beautiful as the real thing.

"Is this the same one you were working on yesterday?" He asked.

"Um, no. The other one still isn't finished."

"This is really good." Shikamaru mumbled. "You've never painted before?"

"Never." Temari admitted as she shook her head.

"After years of practice, I will never be talented like this. You have a gift." Shikamaru commented.

"Thanks." She said shyly. Shikamaru chuckled. _Never thought I would see Temari uncomfortable or shy about anything._

They were silent for a few minutes while Shikamaru studied the portrait.

"Tomorrow morning we are packing up. I have a new location in mind."

"Alright." Temari replied.

"You can keep all that." Shikamaru said, referring to his backpack and art supplies.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru sat in front of the campfire late that night. He lit a cigarette and thought about the conversation he had with Neji just before he left the village.<p>

"_How long will you be gone?" Neji asked._

"_I don't know. A couple of weeks I guess." Shikamaru answered. "Neji," He began. "Do you think it is possible for two ninja from different villages to be together?"_

"_I don't know. Why do you ask?" Neji replied. Then realization stuck him. "Who is it?"_

"_Nobody. Well, obviously not 'nobody'."_

"_I guess it could be possible." Neji told Shikamaru. "It would certainly be difficult. Eventually one person will have to leave their village to stay with the other. If the relationship ever gets that far, you know."_

"_That's what I was thinking too." Shikamaru looked off. If a relationship ever developed between himself and Temari, Shikamaru could not ask her to abandon her home and her family. Shikamaru wouldn't be able to do it either. He let out a sigh. "Ninja first, then human. Right?"_

"_Right." Neji laughed. It was a sad truth that they had to face._

"_It would be much easier to just marry Ino wouldn't it?" Shikamaru asked._

"_I don't know." Neji said. "I'm not marrying Tenten because it's easy. She is the only woman I have any desire to be with."= Could you really live the rest of your life with Ino? Or would you just be marrying her because it's the more 'logical' answer?"_

A sound snapped Shikamaru out of his flashback and back to the present. Temari sat down next to him. She had her hair down again. Every time Shikamaru saw her hair down he was speechless.

"I got a letter from my brother." She began. "Kankuro is furious with me. Gaara is more understanding."

"That's good." Shikamaru replied. He threw his cigarette into the fire.

"But I have to go home." She said. Shikamaru could tell by the way she approached the topic that something wasn't right.

"What's going on?"

"The feudal lords decided to visit The Sand the day we left. They were upset that I wasn't there and that I didn't give proper notification. They want the elders to suspend me for breach of protocol. The trial is in 2 days. It's not required that I am present, but I'm in enough shit already."

"Is it really that strict in your village?"

"Yes. The feudal lords have a very tight rope around Sand ninja. They never approved of my position. They think Gaara just pulled a favor by making me Chief Jonin as well as an ambassador. For years they have been waiting for me to slip up so they can remove me. If they really wanted to, they could probably relieve me of duty." Temari explained. "I have to go. Soon."

"It's only been two days." Shikamaru mumbled. "I'll go with you."

"No." Temari said firmly. "You shouldn't even know about the trial. There is also very strict protocol on the dealings of internal affairs of the village. You can't even be seen near me or I will be accused of sharing sensitive information with outsiders."

"But you're the ambassador for The Sand and I'm the ambassador for The Leaf. Doesn't that mean we have to communicate?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes. Trust me, the feudal lords will find a crumb and turn it into a thousand loaves of bread. My family has always been blacklisted. Regardless of the fact that both my father and brother hold the title of Kazekage, I'm granted no immunity. In fact, I'm held to a much higher standard than most ninja. Especially among those in my own village. My contract is not normal." She said.

"What do you mean your 'contract is not normal'?" Shikamaru questioned.

"You know when you become a Jonin you have to take a special oath and make a contract?"

"Yeah."

"Well, mine was modified. I pretty much hold The Sand in my hands. I'm Chief Jonin, ambassador, and part of the Royal Guard." She started. "To make a long story short, the village owns every inch of my life. I wanted to prove to the feudal lords that I was a worthy ninja, so I accepted the terms they subjected me to." There was a look on Temari's face that Shikamaru couldn't quite read. _Regret?_

"So what do you want me to do?" Shikamaru asked.

"Go home. There is nothing else left to do." Temari ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. "I'm going to rest." She said as she got up. "I'll see you before I leave." She added.

Shikamaru didn't move for a few minutes. He let Temari's words sink into his mind for a while. He couldn't imagine the scrutiny she was going to have to endure at the trial. He felt even worse when he realized that it was his own fault. Eventually he got up and headed to his tent to try to sleep.

* * *

><p>Temari packed silently as to not disturb Shikamaru. He emerged from his own tent just as she was finishing up.<p>

"Good luck. Make sure to let me know how it goes." Shikamaru told her. "I'm really sorry I caused you this trouble."

"It's not your fault." Temari said. She obviously wasn't in the mood for speaking about it. "I was careless." She added.

They stood there in silence, not looking at one another. "Thank you." Temari finally said. She didn't explain why. Shikamaru nodded. He walked over to her and held her hand. It was warm and soft, like it was made to be held.

"I'm sure everything will be fine." He said. After a few seconds of looking into her emerald green eyes, he hugged her. At first Temari just stood there kind of awkwardly. Then she returned the hug, burying her face in his chest.

Temari hugged Shikamaru longer than she intended too. She held him tightly and didn't really want to let go. There was too much said between their embrace. They both felt the connection that they tried to tell themselves wasn't even there.

"I have to go." Temari said. Shikamaru had never seen her look so vulnerable. _She has always been strong and confident… but she looks like she is breaking right now._

"Alright." He said as they finally broke apart. "You know where to find me." He added. She nodded. For a second, Shikamaru thought her eyes looked watery. Before he could look close, she was gone. But Shikamaru knew she would come back. _See you soon._

* * *

><p>Temari ran as fast as she could. <em>I can't believe the Council is really trying to do this to me. After all I've done for the Hidden Sand…<em>

She was exhausted by the time she got back home, but she didn't slow down for a second. She dropped her bag off and set out to find Gaara immediately.

"There you are." He said calmly as Temari walked into his office. "I'm sorry about all of this mess."

"I know. What are my chances looking like right now? Be honest with me."

"It's looking optimistic. The village elders have too much trust in you to let the Feudal Lord Council have the last say."

"The Council has been out for my head for the past 10 years. All the elders can do is give them a hard time. They will eventually get what they want." Temari said. She punched the wall out of anger. "Damn it! How could I have been so careless?" She said to herself.

"Calm down." Gaara said. "Breach of protocol is not that bad."

"But you know the constraints I have, Gaara. I'm supposed to be a leader. I can't break protocol. The Council will try to make an example of me to keep the rest of the ninja in line." Temari said.

Gaara was silent for a few minutes. "There is no proof that I did not give you verbal permission to take leave." He said. Temari raised her eyebrows.

"You mean to…_lie_?" She whispered the last word.

"It must be done."

Temari thought about Gaara's words. He was right. The only chance Temari had was to play along. "Ok." She said finally. "Ok."

"Not a word about this to anyone. Especially Kankuro. Actually, you should probably stay here tonight. Kankuro is still very upset." Gaara said. Temari nodded and left the office. She still couldn't believe what was going on around her.

* * *

><p>Temari was anything but nervous when the time for the trial came about. She had left all her fears on her pillow that morning. She was determined to remain strong so The Council would know that the situation was not throwing her off balance at all.<p>

"Ah, I see you have decided to report in today, Miss Temari." The head councilor said. Temari bit back the furious response that threatened to escape her tongue. "Shocking. You do know that your presence was not required today?"

"I am aware. And it is very nice to see you too, sir. Shall we get started?" Temari replied with a false smile. She almost hoped he could see the contempt behind her eyes.

"Ok then. I hereby call this trial into session. Miss Temari, it has been brought to the attention of The Feudal Lord Council that you left The Village Hidden in The Sand without proper request or documentation. What say you?" The councilor stated.

"I accept the charges. However, I did have verbal confirmation from the Kazekage himself that I was authorized to take leave. I was under the impression that the village would understand and accept that without needing further explanation."

"Right. The Council was informed of such verbal confirmation from Lord Gaara. We have also received notice that this is not the first personal leave you have requested in this month. What is this now…" The councilor looked through some papers. "Ah. This is your second request for personal leave. Am I correct?"

"Yes, you are councilor." Temari agreed.

"One vacation is simply not enough, Miss Temari?" He probed.

"It is, sir. It is also on record that while I was on my first personal leave, I traveled to Konoha to relay important information to the Hokage. I simply requested another personal leave to make up for the time that I spent working without pay, sir." Temari said smartly. The councilor was trumped. Gaara had a slight smirk on his face.

"I see. On the charge of breach of protocol, Miss Temari," The councilor said. "The Council finds you…not guilty." He finished, rather reluctantly. "Trial closed. Dismissed."

Temari left the hearing room with a grin on her face. Gaara nodded to her on the way out. Still, Temari felt as though she was lucky Gaara stood up for her while she was gone. If it was discovered that either of them was lying, there would have been serious consequences for both Temari and Gaara. Unfortunately, Temari's consequences would have been worse.


	8. Chapter 8

**UPDATE: 15 Apr 2012 - Sorry for the super long wait everyone! I'm working on two stories right now as well as multiple chapters for this story (all while keeping up with college and Naruto manga&anime). My plan is to write quite a few chapters and upload them one by one so you guys don't have to wait so long. Thanks for staying faithful guys, I really appreciate it. It keeps me going. I love ALL of the AWESOME reviews! Thanks again guys, I wont keep you waiting much longer, I promise!**

_**-Heroine921**_

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

Temari was relieved that the trial went well. She hadn't contacted Shikamaru in over two weeks just to make sure everything was cooled down. Kankuro still hadn't quite forgiven Temari. For some reason he seemed to take a personal hit from Temari's surprise disappearance. Temari brushed Kankuro off. He had always been too emotionally-driven in her opinion.

"You wanted to see me?" Temari asked Gaara.

"Yes." Gaara replied, not looking up from his paperwork. Temari looked out of the window over-looking the village. "Kankuro is quite concerned about you."

"Right. And why should I believe that?"

"I think the better question is…" Gaara began. He pulled out an artbook. _Shit._ "What is this about?" He flipped to the painting Temari still hadn't finished.

"I, uh…" Temari couldn't even respond. "Wait, how did Kankuro get that?" She asked, suddenly very angry.

"I didn't ask." Gaara replied calmly.

"I can't believe that bastard." Temari said under her breath.

"Am I correct in assuming that this is a painting of Shikamaru Nara, Jonin of the Hidden Leaf?" He asked. Temari looked away. "However coincidental it may be, I am aware the Nara is now an ambassador for Konoha. I realize that what that means is you will be working with him often." Gaara continued sternly. Then his tone shifted to brotherly concern. "You know the rules Temari. If the two of you are ever seen together outside of an official meeting again, it won't look very good. Given the recent trouble you have had with The Council…this could turn really bad."

"I know, Gaara. I know what I signed up for. I haven't forgotten my boundaries." Temari said angrily. She took the artbook from Gaara and shook her head. _My own bother went through my personal belongings. I'm going to kill Kankuro._

"I'm not telling you what to do, I am not making assumptions, and am not I saying that I have seen the two of you together. Other people have, however. And it has happened on more than one occasion. If I physically see it with my own eyes, you know the action I must take. I cannot pull any more strings, Temari. Not even for my sister. You know The Council. Be careful."

"Yeah, I know." Temari said. _Just when things seemed to be getting normal again._ Gaara dismissed Temari and continued his work. _Damn you, Shikamaru. Why does it have to be you?_

* * *

><p>Months passed by without Temari even noticing. Every day she just went through the motions robotically. She did everything that was required of her flawlessly. She worked for 12 hours a day, trained for 6, and slept for 6. And that was all she did for 3 months. The Council decided to back off a bit when they realized Temari wasn't doing anything punishable. Kankuro even came around after a while.<p>

"Hey, Temari. Do you have a minute?" Kankuro entered Temari's office.

"Not really." She said. "What is it?"

"You've been doing a really good job lately." He replied. Temari gave him the 'yeah right' look. She knew that's not why he came.

"Ok, I'm sorry. A couple of months ago you really weren't acting like yourself. The last time you were acting like that was when you were sneaking around and seeing –"

"Don't you dare say his name." She hissed angrily. The last thing Temari wanted to do was think about her ex. "That was years ago. Leave it in the past. And you know the kind of trouble I will be in if anyone overhears you."

"Sorry, damn!" Kankuro shot back. "I'm just trying to look out for you. You were a wreck after that!"

"Get out." Temari said in a deathly whisper. In an instant she was standing face to face with Kankuro, staring him down fiercely.

"Alright, alright. I'm leaving." Kankuro backed away and turned around. "I can't keep your secrets anymore, Temari. Don't make me have to."

Temari bit back her response and let Kankuro leave. She didn't need yet another fight with him. He had already come close enough to telling Gaara about Shikamaru. She wasn't even dating him.

_Shikamaru_. Temari looked at the painting that she kept hidden away and sighed.

"You're heading to Konoha tomorrow." Gaara said, startling Temari. She quickly moved the painting out of sight. "One of the Chief Jonin is having a wedding." He finished.

Temari didn't show it, but her heart felt like it just fell out of her chest. She bit her tongue to stop the tears that threatened to cloud her eyes. "Ok." She managed.

"It sheds a good light on The Sand when we support the high-ranking ninja of our allied villages."

"Of course." Temari nodded. "I will set out at dawn tomorrow." She added. Gaara nodded and left.

It was a rough night for Temari. She didn't sleep at all. Crying was the only thing that felt good. Temari had never felt like that before. She had been hurt, but it never seemed to hit her so deep. The pain made Temari realize that she did have some feelings toward Shikamaru, whatever they might have been. She had to admit to herself that something was there, even though she knew it wasn't supposed to be. She felt comfortable around him, like he would never judge her or scrutinize her. Shikamaru made Temari feel almost like a whole different person. Someone who didn't have to worry about the all of the pressure of being a powerful kunoichi in a village where women were looked at as lower than men. Temari was so focused on her career. She hadn't forgotten about Shikamaru at all, but she did forget that she wasn't the only person in his life. She hadn't thought about Ino. _Why does it even matter to me?...I guess I kinda thought that he would just always be there._ As hard as she tried, Temari couldn't stop the thoughts that were flooding her mind.

The next morning, Temari found out that Kankuro and Gaara would both accompany her to The Leaf. As if she didn't already have enough on her plate.

Their 3 day journey was spent in silence for the most part. They didn't speak as they traveled. That was an old tradition they established when they were young ninja. _Always be as quiet as possible. Always be the surpriser, not the surprise._ The only time any of them spoke was at night before sleeping and in the morning before setting of on foot again. Temari didn't mind not speaking to her brothers. But her mind suffocated her in the silence. Her thoughts were so full of pain that every second seemed to crawl by. In a matter of days, she would see Shikamaru get married. She didn't know how she would feel. She didn't even know how she was supposed to feel. All she knew was that she was never supposed to love, especially someone from another village. _Do I love him? Is this why it hurts so bad?_ Temari didn't know the answers. But it didn't matter anymore anyway.

* * *

><p>Shikamaru heard a knock on the door, but no one was there when he opened it. He looked around for a second. <em>Damn kids.<em> He thought as he stepped out of the doorway. He stumbled over something as he moved forward. _My backpack_. Only one person could have left it there. He looked around desperately trying to locate her, but Temari was nowhere in sight.

He went back inside the house and opened the bag. Inside was the artbook that he let Temari have for her paintings. He flipped through. _Nothing new. Maybe she just got tired of it._ But on the last page was a painting that caught Shikamaru off guard. _Me? So this is the one she wouldn't let me see…_ Shikamaru didn't know why, but there was just a good feeling about the painting. It was almost like the feeling Shikamaru got when he finally got home after long missions. It was…nostalgic. He smiled to himself and flipped it over. There was one tiny word in the lower left corner. "Midnight." Shikamaru didn't need an explanation. He knew what it meant.

Shikamaru laid back in the grass as he waited. He remembered when he and Temari laid in the same place, months ago. They knew almost nothing about each other then. They still didn't know much, but they didn't really need to. Their connection was undeniable. Shikamaru looked up into the stars. He watched how the waterfall seemed to glow in the moonlight. After what felt like hours of waiting, Shikamaru waited some more. Temari never showed up. Shikamaru looked around one last time before deciding to call it a night. He sighed and made his way home.

Temari watched as Shikamaru started to leave. She had been watching him the whole time. She couldn't find the courage to face him. She knew she was wrong for even being there. You wouldn't believe how careful she had to be to slip out of the inn unnoticed right under her brothers' noses. And on top of that, almost everyone in Konoha at least knew who she was and what she looked like. The last thing she need was to be spotted by some villager who could have started rumors. But Temari just had to see him again. Before the wedding. She had to see if he cared. _He came. Maybe he still does care. _She thought. _But we both know that he is doing the right thing._

* * *

><p>The wedding day came. All of the seats in the wedding we assigned. Temari sat in her seat in the front row and steeled herself. She knew she couldn't show any emotion at all. Gaara and Kankuro were having a conversation about how weddings had always been uncomfortable for the two of them. Temari blocked everything out and stared into nothing. It took all the strength to block the thoughts of Shikamaru.<p>

As the wedding began to fill up, and the time drew close, Temari felt more and more uneasy. She broke out into a sweat. _What is wrong with me? I really need to control myself. Shikamaru and I…there is no 'Shikamaru and I. There never was. There never will be. I will not –_

"Morning." A voice said, breaking Temari's zone and bring her back to reality. She mumbled a reply without looking to see who was addressing her. The man greeted Gaara next and shook his hand. When he got to Kankuro, Kankuro scoffed and refused to shake his hand. The man took his assigned seat next to Temari, which caused her to glance over at him. She did a double take and blinked her eyes multiple times. Shikamaru looked back at her, showing no emotion. Temari had a very hard time keeping her expression blank. She wanted to smile, but instead she turned her head forward. _I'm sure it's no coincidence that he was 'assigned' a seat next to me._ She thought as she fought the urges to look at Shikamaru again. Temari knew that they both had to keep their poker faces strong. There was far too many people around without even counting Gaara and Kankuro right next to her.

As the wedding started, and Neji took his place, Temari couldn't help but feel relieved. She didn't know why it felt so good, but it did.

After the ceremony was over, the newlyweds held a get-together at the Hyuuga Compound's Head House. Many villagers and ninja alike were there. Temari took a seat in the back of the room, as far away from the people as possible. People were talking, dancing, and eating. Gaara and Naruto had returned to the Hokage Headquarters long ago. Temari had no idea where Kankuro was. _Probably with off with some cheap date and a glass of sake._

"Are you Miss Temari?" Some kid asked.

"Yes." She answered. The boy was no older than five or six.

"Here" He said shyly and passed her a note. He smiled and disappeared into the crowd. Temari opened the note. It had one word. _Midnight._ Temari couldn't hold her smile back this time.

Midnight couldn't come soon enough. True to form, Kankuro had found some girl to spend the night with and Gaara was staying with Naruto at the Hokage headquarters. Temari had a much an easier time making it to the waterfall at midnight without being spotted.

Temari perched herself in a tree the same tree she was in the night before. It had a birds-eye view of the area and concealed her very well. Shikamaru showed up, right on time again. He laid in the same exact spot in the grass. Temari jumped down silently and made her way over.

"You came tonight?" Shikamaru said. His eyes were closed, but he could feel Temari's presence. He could smell her scent. Light, yet distinctive. And it was always the same. Temari sat down and crossed her legs.

"I came yesterday too." She replied.

"I know." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"When I heard one of the Chief Jonin of Konoha was having a wedding I –" She began finally.

"Thought it was me?" Shikamaru finished. He finally opened his eyes to see Temari looking down at him. This time Shikamaru was sure he saw water in her eyes.

"Who was that kid earlier?" Temari changed the subject.

"My godson. Asuma's son." He answered. Another silence.

"Neji and Tenten look happy." Temari commented.

"Yeah."

"How did things go…with Ino?" Temari didn't really want to ask such a straightforward question, but she had to know.

"I don't know. We fought. She was really pissed when I left." Shikamaru seemed like he was holding something back. "She asked me what was wrong with her. Why I didn't want to be with her. I knew the answer, but I couldn't answer her. So I told her that my work was too important."

"Really? Right." Temari joked.

"Yeah." Shikamaru laughed. "She didn't believe me either. That eventually made her more upset. At the end of everything, I told her that she was more emotionally involved than I was. I told her we shouldn't be friends, because I would just keep hurting her…I told her I just didn't love her that way. She continued to try to fight me, but eventually she gave up. Her father wasn't happy at all. My parents weren't either but they were more understanding." He said. "Even though it might have been the 'right' thing to do…I couldn't be with Ino. I couldn't spend my whole life with her even though I do love her as a friend. At one point, I almost though she was the one I wanted. Then I realized that if no one had pressed the whole marriage issue than I would never have thought of it on my own. I just don't see Ino in that light. We had our intimate moments…but that's all they were. Just being caught up in the moment." He finally finished. Temari didn't know what to say to make Shikamaru feel better. He lost a friend he grew up with. There was nothing you could say to that.

"Eh, enough about me. How did your trial go?" He asked.

"Better than I expected. Gaara had to pull some strings." Temari said. "You know I shouldn't be here right?"

"I know." Shikamaru nodded. "And I shouldn't have asked you. But I wanted to see how you were doing. It's been a while since we spoke." _Too long._

"It has." A comfortable silence washed over them. Temari smiled at Shikamaru. She felt really good when she was around him. "I won't be in the village for long."

"I figured as much. And it probably isn't the smartest idea to be sneaking around while both of your brothers are here either." Shikamaru said. He suddenly pulled a mask out of his ninja tool pouch.

"Black Ops? You're kidding?" Temari said, holding it up.

"I have to kill you now." He joked. "4 people in the entire village know I am in ANBU. And now 1 outsider knows." Shikamaru smiled. "I finished training a month ago. I'm not just regular ANBU. I'm in the highest level. I can't really say too much." Shikamaru stuck out his tongue to reveal the small seal in the back. "But I'm sure I don't have to explain it to you anyway."

"And you still do your hold your other positions?"

"Yes. It would look funny if I just stopped and worked totally undercover. Then everyone would know."

"True." Temari agreed. Shikamaru put the mask away.

"They call me 'Shadow'. You could imagine why." He said. Temari laid down next to him. He looked into her deep green eyes and smiled. Temari took his hand and returned the smile.

She closed her eyes for a second and before she knew it, she woke up at the inn. _That could not have been a dream._ Temari sat up and realized she was holding a piece of paper. She opened it and smiled at the single word written on it. Shikamaru truly was one with the shadows. Somehow he managed to get her back into the inn without waking her and without causing any attention.

_Shadow._


	9. Chapter 9

**Short chapter, sorry! I hope you all enjoy anyway!**

Chapter 9

Shikamaru and Temari had an unspoken agreement. They were forced to be secretive about their friendship. Temari knew how many rules she was breaking, but she stopped caring. There was just something about Shikamaru that she could not stay away from for long.

Temari awoke with a start. She heard someone com into her bedroom. She was about to get up when the intruder was suddenly right next to her. He put his finger over her lips to signal her not to make noise.

"Sorry. I know you hate surprises. But I had to." Shikamaru whispered. It was too dark in the room for Temari to see him, but that was probably better anyway.

"You must really be fucking crazy. I promise I will kill you next time." She replied. Shikamaru laughed.

"I know."

"What are you doing here?" Temari asked. "I know you're supposed to be a super ANBU guy now, but you can't just come around whenever you want."

"Why can't I? Trust me; no one will ever see me. I was an infiltrator even before my ANBU training."

"Shikamaru, I live with my brothers!" She whispered back.

"I know. I'm on my way home from a mission. I just figured I'd stop by."

"That's nice and dandy, but you could cost me my ass with your heroics. What if Kankuro heard you?"

"He didn't." Shikamaru said simply. Temari sighed. _I never knew Shikamaru could be so stubborn._

"I have to get going. I have to be back in Konoha before sunrise. Goodnight, Temari." Shikamaru disappeared before Temari could reply.

This became somewhat of a routine for Shikamaru and Temari. They never saw each other for long and it was always at night. Temari eventually got used to Shikamaru surprising her and stopped threatening to kill him as often. They floated along in this kind of limbo for weeks. After a while Temari realized that she began to stay up and wait for Shikamaru more and more often. It had become so close to regular that if Temari hadn't seen Shikamaru in just a few days she started to get anxious for his return.

"You must get exhausted with all the running around that you do." Temari said one night.

"It's not as bad as you would think." He replied. Shikamaru sat on the edge of her bed and yawned. He kicked his shoes off and laid next to her.

"I don't remember inviting you into my bed." She said as she made room for him.

"I don't remember you kicking me out of it either." He chuckled. Temari smiled and shook her head at herself. _Shikamaru has my mind all types of screwed up. Damn this kid._ She thought with a laugh.

The more time she spent with him, the more time she wanted to spend with him. It soon became apparent to Temari that she had very strong feelings for Shikamaru. Regardless of the fact that she was going against her contract over and over, she knew nothing would stop her from seeing him. She would much rather be forced to keep it a secret than to not see Shikamaru at all. She felt so carefree with him, but when he left she realized how miserable the rest of her life was and had been for the last 8 years. _I made a vow._ She reminded herself.

"You ever consider just getting your own place?" Shikamaru asked Temari one night. They were sitting on her bedroom floor in the dark.

"I've considered it." She replied. Shikamaru waited for further explanation. "I don't know. Living alone would be nice, but I don't want to live alone forever." She finished.

"Why would you live alone forever? Don't you plan to have a family some day?" Shikamaru asked. Temari was quiet. She avoided his eyes. The moonlight shone through the single window in her room and fell right upon her face. Shikamaru was quiet and patient.

"Temari," Shikamaru said quietly. He grabbed her face gently and turned it back towards his. There was a single tear crawling down her cheek. Temari quickly turned away again to hide her embarrassment.

"It's ok." Shikamaru said. "You don't have to tell me."

"Stay with me tonight." Temari replied. "Stay the whole night; not just a couple hours."

"Alright." He answered. He didn't ask questions, he didn't complain, he didn't disagree. _That's part of what makes him Shikamaru._ Temari thought.

Shikamaru got up and took his gear off. He climbed into bed and tossed his shirt on the floor while letting out a yawn. Temari chuckled. She absolutely hated the fact that he was sloppy, but it was Shikamaru.

Temari rolled into the bed next to Shikamaru. He attempted to pull her close to him. Temari smiled at him and shook her head gently. "You know," she began to whisper. Shikamaru put a finger to her lips to stop her.

"Yeah, I know." He replied. He tried pulling her closer again and this time she didn't refuse. "You're still not much of a fighter, Temari." He teased. Temari laughed but didn't give one of her usual smart remarks about how she could still kick Shikamaru's ass.

"You don't have to tell me what's on your mind," Shikamaru began. "But…I don't like seeing you sad." He said. He rubbed her cheek. Temari felt warm and happy, something she only felt with Shikamaru.

"Goodnight, Shikamaru." She said before she closed her eyes.

Shikamaru watched Temari for a while. He could tell she wasn't asleep. _I wonder what is bothering her so much. Any time the topic of marriage or kids, or even…US…happens to come up, she gets so…distant. It's so unlike her to not have words for a situation. Temari, what is it?_

After what had to be a couple of hours, Shikamaru turned his head away from Temari. He looked out the window. The sky was still dark. He finally closed his eyes just when Temari reopened hers. She snuggled up even closer to Shikamaru. He opened his eyes again to look at her.

"I…I don't know what it is…but I need you." She whispered so low that he barely heard her. Shikamaru didn't know how to respond. Very rarely did Temari open up to him. She kept her feelings to herself so well that Shikamaru never knew what to say when she actually shared her feelings with him.

"I have to tell you something." Temari started again.

"No, not now, ok?" Shikamaru said. He smiled down at her. "Whatever it is, it can wait. _Just be here_. Don't worry about anything else until the morning."

And just like that Temari forgot all her worries. It was like Shikamaru set her free, even if only for a short while. She couldn't help but smile as she nodded. Shikamaru hugged her tightly. Temari allowed herself to enjoy the moment she was having with him. Of all the time they had spent together, this was the closest she ever felt to Shikamaru.

She kissed him. She didn't think about it, because she knew she would stop if she did. Temari just let herself go. She just let herself enjoy what she had at that very moment. Shikamaru seemed surprised. He didn't return her kiss right away. But when he did, Temari felt this kind of electricity run through her whole body. She didn't want Shikamaru to leave when the sun rose. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to stop. Ever.

So she didn't. Temari felt the room heating up. Or maybe it was just her. She climbed on top of Shikamaru. He was hot too. Their kisses became deeper. They both started sweating. Something else took over Temari as they continued.

Before long, Shikamaru tossed her over and he was on top. The room felt too small to contain their passion. The release of their sexual tension was too strong. Neither of them could stop their moans and groans. For half a second, Temari worried that they would be overheard. But that half second left just as quickly as it came. Temari hadn't been touched this way in a long time. But something was different. It was better than ever before.

Shikamaru's hands wandered around Temari's body, removing clothes along the way. There was no going back now. Shikamaru undid his own pants as he laid kisses all over Temari. She led out a small scream as he started to rock her hips. Shikamaru looked in her eyes and smiled. She smiled back and closed her eyes.

Temari woke, stiff and sore. It took a moment to realize her naked body was laying on top of Shikamaru's. _Shit._ She thought and quickly got up to get dressed. Shikamaru stirred a bit. Temari threw one of his sandals at him.

"Hey," He grumbled.

"Get up." Temari ordered.

"What's the rush?"

"You need to go. Last night…shouldn't have happened."

"I can't just forget about it, Temari." Shikamaru replied.

"Well you're going to have to." Temari said. Shikamaru didn't reply. He got up and started getting dressed as well.

The silence between them felt awkward. Temari tried her best not to think about what happened. But of course she couldn't. It continually tugged at her mind. It bothered her that she wanted Shikamaru so bad. She wanted everything with Shikamaru that he wanted with her. But she couldn't give it to him. She could never be with him.

Temari almost let him leave without saying a word. "Wait." She said. Shikamaru froze, perched on the windowsill. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I know." He replied before he put his mask on and disappeared in the sunlight.

* * *

><p>Kankuro kept glancing at Temari as they ate dinner together.<p>

"What?" Temari demanded, annoyed.

"Nothing." He laughed. "Fun night? Nothing wrong with a one-night-stand every once in a while. Poor kid. He's probably drunk and crying about you right now."

"Shut up, Kankuro. I'm not like you."

"Maybe. But I know you and you're still a cold bitch. What did you say to get the guy in your bed?"

"I don't see men as simple play toys." She replied. Kankuro laughs.

"Right. Men are so much more complicated than that, right? You're secret is safe with me. A little fun doesn't hurt. But just try to keep it down. Don't want to wake up the entire village next time." He said. "Must've been really good." He added.

"Oh fuck you." Temari rolled her eyes. Kankuro continued to make jokes revolving around Temari's noises from the previous night. Temari was just grateful he didn't know who made he make those sounds.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Shikamaru didn't visit Temari for weeks. It was getting almost unbearable. But he wanted her to come to him. He wanted her to be honest with herself. He wanted Temari to tell him that she needed him again.

He waited for the letter that never came. And it upset him. He didn't want to feel like he was the only one who wanted whatever it was that they had. He was also too stubborn to give in. So he continued to wait.

Temari was finding it difficult to focus on her work and training. She barely slept at night. She always found herself staring into the darkness of her room, trying to pretend Shikamaru was there watching her. He had never stayed away so long. _Maybe something happened. Or maybe he realized that I can never be his._

She finally couldn't stand it anymore. She wrote a letter one night in the dark. She didn't even bother to turn the light on. Temari just used the faint moonlight.

Shikamaru smiled when he got the letter. '_In the shadows of midnight'. Only the two of us could ever know what it means._

"It took you long enough." Shikamaru whispered in Temari's ear the night he came back. She couldn't see him, but she could feel his presence. She didn't even seem startled this time. _She's been waiting.._.

"Were you waiting on me?" She asked.

"What would ever give you that idea?" He teased with a smile.

"It wouldn't have felt long if you weren't waiting." Temari answered. "Are you going to stay in the shadows… or are you going to come here?"

"Maybe." He got as close to her lips as he could without touching her. "Are you going to make it worth it?"

She didn't answer. Shikamaru could feel her breath on his face. It made his lips tingle. Shikamaru didn't care about anything else in the world anymore. He had made up his mind.

"I love you, Temari." Shikamaru whispered. Temari's hand found Shikamaru's cheek and she rubbed it gently. She let out a sigh before replying.

"Shikamaru…what I wanted to tell you that night…" She started. He didn't stop her this time. "I can never be with you. You know that."

Even though Shikamaru had been expecting it, it didn't soften the blow. Temari had been hinting to the fact for some time now. But Shikamaru thought she reached the point where she cared enough for him to do it anyway.

"What would happen if we were together?" He asked quietly.

"I think you know." Temari answered. And he did. _How could I ask her to leave her village just for me?_

Shikamaru was quiet for a while. He couldn't see her face, but he imagined a single tear sliding down her cheek, just like before.

"But I do need you." She broke the silence, her voice cracking. Shikamaru knew it was more than one tear. It wasn't like Temari to be vulnerable, and it was even more unlike her to show it. It was bittersweet to Shikamaru. He hated to see her like this, but it was the most emotion he ever got out of her. It made him a little happy that she still wanted him in her life. But he felt wrong at the same time.

"I know." Was all Shikamaru said in return. He silently got into bed and held Temari in his arms as she buried her face in his chest. She didn't speak, but Shikamaru could feel when she drew in deep, shaky breaths. She cried most of the night.

"Tell me exactly what's going on with you. I need to understand." Shikamaru said once Temari finally steadied herself.

"I made a vow to my village. It owns me. The village is my spouse, so to speak. I am forbidden to date, marry, or have children. I am forbidden to even associate with anyone outside the village, except for my work. I am supposed to be the perfect example to all citizens and ninja here. The example that loyalty to the village is more important than life itself." Temari explained. "If The Council discovers that I violate any of these, the consequences are harsh. I could be suspended, stripped of my rank and titles, thrown in jail for the rest of my life, exiled and declared a rouge S-rank criminal for treason…or even executed right here, in front of everyone."

Shikamaru let it set in for a second. _Harsh is an understatement._ "But weren't you in a relationship before?"

Temari nodded. "Only Kankuro knew about it. He trailed me once when I wasn't being careful. He kept that secret for a long time. But after that relationship ended, I was a wreck. Kankuro lied to everyone for me. He said my depression was from the war, that all the killing done was coming back to me. It was easy enough for everyone to believe. You know how many people the Allied Shinobi Force lost, and you know how many we killed too."

Shikamaru didn't reply.

"But that's not what worries me most." Temari said. "I can't do that to my brothers. We are all we have. Kankuro would probably kill me himself if he found out about you. And he would try to kill you too, no doubt. Then Gaara would kill him. And he would be alone again. The village would probably shun him again. And he would turn back into that cold Gaara you first met years ago. The Leaf and Sand would then have no ties to keep an alliance. There is just too much at stake… And if you and I get in too deep…honestly, we already have. I already want what I said I never would."

"And what is that?" He asked.

"You." She answered simply.

"Well I knew that already." Shikamaru joked. Temari gave a small smile and looked at him. "You broke the rules before. What's different this time?"

"I don't want to hurt you." She answered. Shikamaru's confusion was shown on his face. "Maybe you haven't heard that I can be a heartless bitch." She added.

"So you didn't care for him at all?"

"I did. Maybe I even loved him. I don't know. It was more selfish gain than anything else. The thrill of doing something I wasn't supposed to do. I couldn't get away from it. I loved the control and manipulation. But then I found out he was just as selfish, having a whole different life too. It broke me. I felt stupid. I was supposed to be the master, not the puppet. I wasn't supposed to be so weak and naive."

"Oh." He replied. Shikamaru didn't really know what to say to that. He knew that Temari was very headstrong and controlling, but he never thought of it quite like that. Then something she said made him smile. "You're in too deep?" He asked.

"You have no idea." She mumbled with a slight chuckle. Shikamaru kissed her forehead.

"I'll do whatever it takes. If it means hiding everything, so be it. I don't care." He told her. Temari smiled then frowned.

"Eventually, you will want more than what I can give you." She said. _Eventually even I will want more than I can give you too._ She thought.

"Temari, I have never felt this way. It makes me crazy because it's the first thing I don't really understand. And you know me. I understand everything. I understand too much. Except this. Whatever 'love' is, I don't get it. But I just know that's how I feel about you. I will do anything for you. Anything you need me to do." He replied.

Temari was at a loss for words. Nobody ever said words like these to her. And she could tell that Shikamaru meant it. He never said anything he didn't mean.

"Are you going to make it worth it?" Temari asked with her trademark mischievous smirk.


End file.
